tell a story – stop trying to tell the truth

For some reason my desire for writing has been for self expression and not for fulfillment of the reader. The last class I took before I graduated was ‘Creative Writing 2′ at OCAD, in which everyone excelled in writing descriptive fictional stories. I couldn’t relate with their writing and I wasn’t even interested in reading most of it because my brain couldn’t focus or didn’t find it interesting enough to focus. Maybe it was the lack of depth and dull performance that kept my selfish writing continue in first-person.

I always found that people respect honesty and vulnerability and translate it to strength and confidence. Don’t you just love it when you hear someone express themselves, with rage, tears or laughter? There is an intuitive admiration for vocalness of a person who finds their personal observations interesting enough to be heard by others. It’s like watching a good new movie, or eating a zesty meal or watching the season finale of your favourite show. The real deal is what we want…right?

So why is it that in this ego-centric, narcissistic world we have today we find less fiction and even lesser facts. It’s rare to find insightful and imaginative story-tellers and complete self-expressionists. It’s like an art is missing. It’s like all that we can express is a waste of breath because we are too busy trying to decide whether we love or hate our modernized culture, meaning our nice condos, cars and 9-5 jobs. Our egos are going over the roof, and we don’t even want to work for it. We’re spoiled because we think our efforts are worthless and our failure is the greatest excuse to never leap for the unknown.

Guess what?

I got a wake-up call when I decided to volunteer my skills to a place and people I liked and found inspiring. That’s how I discovered my courage. It wasn’t through school, it was by letting go of my ego and throwing myself at the world with an open heart, willing to fight for every bit of fame I got on the way.

I want to start writing stories about my experiences, without me in them. I want to see how creating a scenario with characters and expressing those characters might change the impact of what I write for the observer. It’s time for me to start telling stories to stimulate your imagination.

Coming soon.

Filed under: creativity, life

how to keep creative

Make, move, make, move, make, move — nothing needs you for too long unless you are in love and/or have kids, and even then, you can still make and move. Help as many people as you can by providing service. But when I say too long, I mean stop when you’re full. By full I don’t mean your hopes and dreams — I mean pride and acceptance. By that I don’t mean give up — I mean stop and think about longevity and sutainability. By lasting I don’t mean doing what you’re told to survive  – I mean keep your spirit alive. By spirit I don’t mean God — I mean your self.

Train yourself to be creative because if you don’t, you’ll just miss out on reality. It’s all moving — just catch it when it comes and roll with it baby (yes, you are a baby). The only home you got is in your heart and the only thing that distinguishes you is your creativity. Practice moving around. By that I don’t mean travel the world — I mean face your fears and challenge your comfort.

That’s how you keep creative.

Filed under: creativity, design, life, philosophy

The IRAN in ME

I’m going to zoom out a bit here.

I’m Iranian. Yes. Full-blood, deeply rooted in ideologies, traditions and history of  Persian culture. You may argue that it’s dead, but I will argue that it is a living spirit that goes way beyond family, food, religion, language, music, poetry, politics and pride. It is a solid combination of all of them, still in search of identity.

I am who I am because of who my parents are, my family, my childhood and my life as an immigrant girl, now a woman, living in Toronto Canada. It’s not easy might I add, more complicated than I expected. I have come to accept it however and respect myself and my body more than what I’m expected of.

I am also who I am because I don’t agree with what society gives me. I’m completely against it. I wish I could kill people who don’t deserve to live and take up land, resources and infect the minds of humans. I’m completely against brainwashing people with what is THE RIGHT WAY – THE WAY OF GOD, THE WAY OF JESUS, THE WAY OF ALLAH. I think it’s all a pile of crap to keep us in our shells and used as tools within a system, whether its a political system, a technological system, a scientific system, an educational system…whatever the system may be. We have yet to pursue a system in harmony with nature.

Or maybe not, maybe this IS all nature and we ARE meant to be here exactly the way we are up to this point and our future is in our own hands. 

 

Zoom in: your life as one human. Zoom out: your life as one humanity.

 

Read a book to get ideas, don’t live your life by devotion to writing. Words are interpreted to create meaning, and as we know through evolution and time, things change — it’s inevitable, the way of nature. We are growing up. We’re pretty mature now.

So Muslims, who are you? Tell me! I want to know! What defines you as a Muslim? Because Christians let their faith lead to capitalism and consumer culture and you’ve let your faith limit the nature of your body and pleasures. Sure there are beautiful sayings in the Quran, there are many in the Bible too. Not to mention some other pretty amazing science fiction writers, filmmakers, poets, artists and philosophers with revolutionary minds that manifested to MOVEMENTS in society. They did a good job of literature too, but they never called it the word of God and punished you for disobeying them.

I have the freedom to sit here and type up my thoughts and share it with others. That is nothing new.

What is new is the future of Iran.

Why?

Iran, in my opinion, is the most confused country in the world right now because I can feel Iran living in me since the day I was born. Maybe it’s my dad, or my mom, or the combinations of the two, or the generations passed down in spirit and cosmos. But I am Iran. Iran is a confused, chaotic, versatile, passionate, intelligent and creative spirit that has been encapsulated for thousands of years and has not given up. We are the last hope for this world. We are capable of redefining the Middle East, the cradle of civilization, because of our revolutionary spirit that has lived in us for years.

I don’t know what else to say but…the time is right Iranian people. The media is on us. It’s what we’ve all been waiting for. What’s next? Community. Communication. Poetry. Our poetry will save us. Make a living poet the politician. No other land owns poetry like us. We have lived by it and continue to pass it down.

Use it Iran.

Use it now.

Filed under: creativity, humanity, love, philosophy

confession to nature, childhood and neighbours

To nature, childhood and neighbours

I’m sorry for not showing you that I love you. I keep denying that i like spending time with you. We used to hold hands and talk to each other, without keeping any secrets; we were honest. I would run to you, not because you asked me, but because you called. I thought you were everlasting; my fears only appeared when i realized you were gone.

I’m panicking. Who am i? Why am i here? Why am i so far from you? Where did i go? Who took me away from you?

I’m talking to you baby!

Everything you did to me that fulfilled my desires is buried in an island off in space. I don’t know where to find you! No one around me knows where you are either. Are you dead? Did you get kidnapped? Why would you ever leave me?

I know i should have told you i love you. I’m sorry! I didn’t know you would leave me and i never thought i’d be so lost and hurt without you. I’ve been desperately crying and taking so much medication. No one knows what’s wrong with me. I keep pretending like i’m fine and i want to forget it all. I want to forget that i ever had any feelings for you.

Maybe i hated you for the longest time. Maybe i knew why you left me but never wanted to face it because i’d feel like i would hate myself. I think all along i thought i could keep going and that i’d get somewhere where i’d be so in love that i would forget you and prove to myself that i could be healed.

Now, i realize that i just need to stop and appreciate what i lost so i can find my way back to you. I promise i’ll come back to you.

I love you.

Filed under: community, creativity, future, life, love, philosophy, sustainability

one life: make money to save yourself; make art to save the world

I’m sitting here on my bed with my 3 year-old Apple Powerbook — one of the old ones that has no Intel chip or Super Drive. I’ve forgotten how old I’ve become. I was in school with so much drive for social design. I must admit though, my drive made me super aggressive. Not very attractive. Is it?

I’m unemployed by choice at the moment.

Oh my! Unemployed? That’s such a disgrace to my education and my strive for being great. What a failure, right?

Sure. Why not call it a failure? I’m so tired of thinking that I’ve got the final answer and living up to my own super expectations. I haven’t been able to sleep well because of all this “design” thinking. The internet and my stupid laptop make it so easy for me to forget who I am. I’ve had so much of good and bad in my life and lost sense of what is important for my health and well-being.

I never wanted to save the world. I have no idea where it suddenly came from. Maybe because I was angry at everyone. As if I knew something that others didn’t and I would hide and pretend like I didn’t think I was better than everyone else. Maybe all I really wanted was a companion, to really get it, and do it with me; to save the world together and use the internet to spread it.

I’m lost.

Because after all that I have done, after standing up for what I believed was right, I admit that I’m a selfish girl and everyone else is selfish too, especially the ones that deny their selfishness.

I jumped into a neighbourhood and stood still for a year. I listened to everything. It was chaos. I began to see the design of a local community and how complicated and interconnected it was. I realized that people all matter and every person thinks that they matter more. I started to see what “social” really meant. And I just designed on my way. By design I mean doing things that I was capable of doing.

I’m not going to lie or brag, but I’m a social cat. I love talking to people — from CEOs to the homeless. It’s the most enjoyable thing for me and that was something I only realized after I got out of school. I was more than lost in school, I was free. I could do anything I wanted but knew that I had to figure out the “world” part when I got out of school and I couldn’t waste any time. So speed became me and I hurt myself that way.

No regrets.

I realized that designing networks is all that matters. Networks = people. Connect people and you’ve done social design. And if you really are full of creativity, love and passion like myself, please practice it as an art. Just make art. I don’t know what your art is, but mine is poetry. I feel free when I do it. So, do something that will make you honor yourself. Put your heart out for the world to see. Don’t shove it down people’s throat, don’t say you’re right, don’t make people feel like they’re stupid and please don’t talk about how there is a final answer “somewhere” out there. Make money to save yourself; make art to save the world. You have one life and people care about who you are if you care enough for yourself to craft something beautiful and share it.  Art is something you do for free, for yourself, for exploration, for discovery. Art is the universe in your voice. 

Who knows?

Maybe you’ll make lots of money with your art one day!

Filed under: creativity, design, education, experience, life, love

the mark of unity

everything will

come together

with chance

and choice

 

balanced

and designed

with integrity 

and hope

 

yes

we can

Filed under: art, community, creativity, design, education, experience, future, life, love, philosophy, poetry, politics, social community networks, sustainability, work

revolution finished

 

GOD and HUMAN

MOTHER and NATURE

CHICKEN and EGG

MAN and ROOSTER

INVENTOR and INNOVATION

can’t go backwards

LIFE is always forward

and equal.

 

be born

re-birth

revolution

sex

acceptance

Filed under: activism, art, city, community, creativity, cycling, design, education, experience, future, humanity, iran, life, love, music, nature, philosophy, poetry, politics, school, student life, sustainability, work

what Time is it?

So now that I’ve revealed my disbelief in Time, I should at least make some sense of the theory of relativity and science in regards to this matter.

I don’t believe in perfection, absolutes or even words being the best way to define Nature. Nature is nature. Can nature talk, write, pay your bills, or tell you what you need to do to get a good paying job? No, I don’t think Nature had a clue that that’s what humans cherished in life. Nature is God. I don’t care who you are or what you think. Nature is God. It’s simple, I’ll say it again: Nature is God. All together now: “NATURE IS GOD.”

Good.

So now that we have that straight, why are we trying to define Nature through Science and God through Religion? Science and Religion are systems designed by humans to break apart Nature and God and make them more complex. I don’t blame us though – we are Humans. It is Human Nature to be inquisitive and since we have Nature in Human Nature, we are naturally responsive to our Body and Mind. Our Senses are what keep us alive and guide us to happiness.

It is Time to:

1. Follow your Senses through Body and Mind
2. Accept Nature as God
3. Experience the naturally inquisitive Human Nature respond to Nature

Assuming you could live a whole century and witness society develop decade by decade, at some point you’ll realize that you were always a child and no one listened to you, not even you. All you really wanted to do was play, and no one thought it was the right thing to do, especially the people who loved you dearly. So you didn’t even dare to, because it was Time that was holding you back. It was your fear of Time and everyone else’s proof of Time that stopped you. You started something, it didn’t go well, and you thought it wasn’t the right Time. So you beat yourself and cried inside. “No one gets what I’m trying to do!” You brushed it off and went back to being afraid.

It’s time to let go of Time and let it only be determined by the impact of what you have done. You take it out of you, put it out there, and see what sticks and what doesn’t. You enjoy the stickies — they can get you a little high. Sometimes they can get you too high and you might loose your head. The one’s that didn’t stick are your friends too, and they came to fight for their right. You love the stickies so much that you may forget what was in you in the first place and what you were trying to do. But that’s not Time! That’s learning by doing! It’s called research, art, poetry, design, activism, development, growth — it’s all of those things that are simply experienced. It’s not slow, or fast, it just gets determined by how much you do and how many people you tag on the way.

Play tag. It’s time to play tag!

You’re It!

Filed under: creativity, design, experience, humanity, life, love, philosophy, work

OCAD is done…or, has just begun (part 4)

 

June 2008 - Convocation Ceremony

I turn 22 tomorrow. I usually don’t tell people my age, but it’s revealed at some point and there’s nothing I can really do about it. Age speaks for the time your body has physically existed but age and time in my eyes can only be measured through experience.

 

The experience of living the last two years of my life, has been deep, eventful, empowering and more specifically out of my control. Everything that has happened to me and I have done has taken on its own life. My maturity as a designer and an ambitious student has expanded my level of confidence to heights beyond limits, a life of its own.

I feel like I’ve been incubating for these 2 years with the desire to give birth to a creation of accumulated knowledge from sifting through information, running up and down hills and flying over the oceans and deserts. I feel like I’ve been waiting for so long to get to somewhere where I can stop and show where I am.

The reason I know this, is because I can finally let go. Without letting go, there is always worry, defense, pressure and a sense of failure always embedded in my head. This has caused me stress to the degree where my body has forgotten how to operate to fulfill itself and manage its own actions, without letting the actions control my body. I never let go. I kept wanting more and I always will.

My thesis became me. I wanted to make a revolution as a designer and so determined to do it. I didn’t really know what it looked like but I knew what it was supposed to feel like and finally I can say that I’m done. I’m done incubating because I can firmly say that I have lived it, revealed it and put it to the test for people to interact with. Its working and I know it will last. I’ve achieved my goal of reaching the destination I was heading for. It’s time for me to enjoy it and let it move forward – the intense work is done. My thesis grew to a shared vision of people around me, and together we have made it an interactive design. Success is when others see potential in what you are doing and want to help you get there. Collective power is the only way ideas come to life.

 

more to come…

Filed under: creativity, design, life, student life

but they didn’t have the internet

don’t compare the art of the past with the art of the future -

it’s not the same

don’t compare the possibilities in the past,

the time it took in the past,

the difficulty in the past,

the expensive costs in the past,

the waste in the past…

none of it is the same

don’t give me the past

give me now.

 

give me the internet;

give me youth;

give me the future in my hands,

with the alphabet on my fingers

ready to make the language of

click, go.

 

yes, i’m there

no i don’t know you but i care.

 

they didn’t have the internet,

so don’t give me examples of higher thought

in the past -

it’s not the same.

the medium is now.

now is design.

now is digital.

now is on my lap,

top of my lungs.

my life is passing me by

faster than my thoughts.

 

they didn’t have the internet,

but i do.

Filed under: creativity, design, philosophy, poetry