thoughts on hearts and others

I think that it’s more effective to keep your space with people just so you have a better understanding of who you are. You need space to differentiate. The more people you understand and stay in touch with throughout your life, the stronger your relationship will be with them and the more you will appreciate them as individuals.

With love, let your feelings out and don’t hold back if it’s right in front of you. The biggest mistake you can make in your life is to not follow your heart. Most people are living a mistaken life. They are not willing to work perpetually towards leadership, independency and fulfillment without detachment from possessions and obligations.

Filed under: life, love

Maximize its use by minimizing its service

As one human being you don’t have enough brain cells and heart pulses to care for the people you have connected with in your life. It’s harder when you’re actually a good hearted person, because everyone wants your time. This social chatty internet shit makes it more confusing with how to spend your time living a healthy life. You’re not really “supposed” to be in touch with everyone you’ve met.

It’s harder for us to know who our true friends are and who really deserves our energy. So my suggestion is whoever makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin is worth your time. Others shouldn’t matter as much. The more real you are with yourself, and the more you surround yourself by people who “really” know who you are, the less stress you have to deal with.

Stop the frontin’. Your time is valuable and your brain shouldn’t be so distracted by caring about so many other problems. We all just have one body to deal with and one brain to be creative with and one heart to really squeeze and pour-your-love-out with. Maximize its use by minimizing its service.

Filed under: life, love, philosophy

this is for everyone who thinks i’m nice

You’re wrong.

I’m a monster. Just like you.

Calling yourself good or nice is probably the most untruthful thing you can do and the worst path to pursue in promoting yourself in thinking that you are doing good for the world.

This might shock many of you who know me that might be reading this. Over the last few months I’ve realized some things about myself and the world that have spun me around.

I gave up a couple years of my life, or should I say gave in, to a passion for improvement and innovation. I pretty much became the project, the idea, the vision I was pursuing, and let everything about it become me. I left myself behind to explore myself and who I really was. I kept pushing, pushing, pushing for more, more, more. Talked to thousands of people, spread myself out, connected spirits and tapped into hearts. I’ve been called an idealist, altruist, agent of change, a kid with stars in her eyes and anything else you can imagine that falls under the category of hippie or activist. 

I have a lot of love to give, that’s one thing. But I’m equally full of anger, greed and pride — sins maybe? I’ve been called brave and seen as a risk-taker. I would say however, that I’m a wimp and cannot manage to put up too long with mundane, institutional, conventional environments and people . So instead, I do what I want to do and find my own nice way to get out and do what I want with the body and energy that I have. If I was brave, I’d work within the system, be a tool and part of the majority of society that is risking their bodies and energy for the consumption of others.

I figured that I have abilities that convince people to throw money in the shit I talk about. I make it all up. None of it exists. I’m not nice. I just want to do what I want to do and forget me not, I have a lot of love. I think that’s all people see and they kind of just trust it…for some reason. Maybe because I’ve got myself convinced that I’m so good.

Love, my fellow humans, is the only thing I have. I’m absolutely not in control of it. It has attracted me to the right people in my life — good or bad I label them not. I’ve become self-aware and realized that I’m nothing but a selfish, honest, confident, angry and competitive five-foot-two Iranian-Canadian girl who wants to take out my athletic personality (body no more) to the next level in society.

I’ll tell you what’s real:

Fiction, science fiction, cartoons, drugs, graffiti, sex, war, sports, dance, comedy and of course music and art tie all of them together. Oh and don’t forget space and energy.

If you put love beside any one of those, you’ll get magic — not good or bad, just magic. Probably the closest experience you can have to reality.

Being nice to people is only so they like you and give you a hand when you need one. You cannot survive in this world on your own. So convince yourself that you’re nice when you’re really a monster. It’s just a game man, you’ve got no choice but to play, and might as well try not to be a loser.

Let your love lead the way — that means forget yourself, do it for the game.

Filed under: 1, life, love, philosophy

The IRAN in ME

I’m going to zoom out a bit here.

I’m Iranian. Yes. Full-blood, deeply rooted in ideologies, traditions and history of  Persian culture. You may argue that it’s dead, but I will argue that it is a living spirit that goes way beyond family, food, religion, language, music, poetry, politics and pride. It is a solid combination of all of them, still in search of identity.

I am who I am because of who my parents are, my family, my childhood and my life as an immigrant girl, now a woman, living in Toronto Canada. It’s not easy might I add, more complicated than I expected. I have come to accept it however and respect myself and my body more than what I’m expected of.

I am also who I am because I don’t agree with what society gives me. I’m completely against it. I wish I could kill people who don’t deserve to live and take up land, resources and infect the minds of humans. I’m completely against brainwashing people with what is THE RIGHT WAY – THE WAY OF GOD, THE WAY OF JESUS, THE WAY OF ALLAH. I think it’s all a pile of crap to keep us in our shells and used as tools within a system, whether its a political system, a technological system, a scientific system, an educational system…whatever the system may be. We have yet to pursue a system in harmony with nature.

Or maybe not, maybe this IS all nature and we ARE meant to be here exactly the way we are up to this point and our future is in our own hands. 

 

Zoom in: your life as one human. Zoom out: your life as one humanity.

 

Read a book to get ideas, don’t live your life by devotion to writing. Words are interpreted to create meaning, and as we know through evolution and time, things change — it’s inevitable, the way of nature. We are growing up. We’re pretty mature now.

So Muslims, who are you? Tell me! I want to know! What defines you as a Muslim? Because Christians let their faith lead to capitalism and consumer culture and you’ve let your faith limit the nature of your body and pleasures. Sure there are beautiful sayings in the Quran, there are many in the Bible too. Not to mention some other pretty amazing science fiction writers, filmmakers, poets, artists and philosophers with revolutionary minds that manifested to MOVEMENTS in society. They did a good job of literature too, but they never called it the word of God and punished you for disobeying them.

I have the freedom to sit here and type up my thoughts and share it with others. That is nothing new.

What is new is the future of Iran.

Why?

Iran, in my opinion, is the most confused country in the world right now because I can feel Iran living in me since the day I was born. Maybe it’s my dad, or my mom, or the combinations of the two, or the generations passed down in spirit and cosmos. But I am Iran. Iran is a confused, chaotic, versatile, passionate, intelligent and creative spirit that has been encapsulated for thousands of years and has not given up. We are the last hope for this world. We are capable of redefining the Middle East, the cradle of civilization, because of our revolutionary spirit that has lived in us for years.

I don’t know what else to say but…the time is right Iranian people. The media is on us. It’s what we’ve all been waiting for. What’s next? Community. Communication. Poetry. Our poetry will save us. Make a living poet the politician. No other land owns poetry like us. We have lived by it and continue to pass it down.

Use it Iran.

Use it now.

Filed under: creativity, humanity, love, philosophy

confession to nature, childhood and neighbours

To nature, childhood and neighbours

I’m sorry for not showing you that I love you. I keep denying that i like spending time with you. We used to hold hands and talk to each other, without keeping any secrets; we were honest. I would run to you, not because you asked me, but because you called. I thought you were everlasting; my fears only appeared when i realized you were gone.

I’m panicking. Who am i? Why am i here? Why am i so far from you? Where did i go? Who took me away from you?

I’m talking to you baby!

Everything you did to me that fulfilled my desires is buried in an island off in space. I don’t know where to find you! No one around me knows where you are either. Are you dead? Did you get kidnapped? Why would you ever leave me?

I know i should have told you i love you. I’m sorry! I didn’t know you would leave me and i never thought i’d be so lost and hurt without you. I’ve been desperately crying and taking so much medication. No one knows what’s wrong with me. I keep pretending like i’m fine and i want to forget it all. I want to forget that i ever had any feelings for you.

Maybe i hated you for the longest time. Maybe i knew why you left me but never wanted to face it because i’d feel like i would hate myself. I think all along i thought i could keep going and that i’d get somewhere where i’d be so in love that i would forget you and prove to myself that i could be healed.

Now, i realize that i just need to stop and appreciate what i lost so i can find my way back to you. I promise i’ll come back to you.

I love you.

Filed under: community, creativity, future, life, love, philosophy, sustainability

one life: make money to save yourself; make art to save the world

I’m sitting here on my bed with my 3 year-old Apple Powerbook — one of the old ones that has no Intel chip or Super Drive. I’ve forgotten how old I’ve become. I was in school with so much drive for social design. I must admit though, my drive made me super aggressive. Not very attractive. Is it?

I’m unemployed by choice at the moment.

Oh my! Unemployed? That’s such a disgrace to my education and my strive for being great. What a failure, right?

Sure. Why not call it a failure? I’m so tired of thinking that I’ve got the final answer and living up to my own super expectations. I haven’t been able to sleep well because of all this “design” thinking. The internet and my stupid laptop make it so easy for me to forget who I am. I’ve had so much of good and bad in my life and lost sense of what is important for my health and well-being.

I never wanted to save the world. I have no idea where it suddenly came from. Maybe because I was angry at everyone. As if I knew something that others didn’t and I would hide and pretend like I didn’t think I was better than everyone else. Maybe all I really wanted was a companion, to really get it, and do it with me; to save the world together and use the internet to spread it.

I’m lost.

Because after all that I have done, after standing up for what I believed was right, I admit that I’m a selfish girl and everyone else is selfish too, especially the ones that deny their selfishness.

I jumped into a neighbourhood and stood still for a year. I listened to everything. It was chaos. I began to see the design of a local community and how complicated and interconnected it was. I realized that people all matter and every person thinks that they matter more. I started to see what “social” really meant. And I just designed on my way. By design I mean doing things that I was capable of doing.

I’m not going to lie or brag, but I’m a social cat. I love talking to people — from CEOs to the homeless. It’s the most enjoyable thing for me and that was something I only realized after I got out of school. I was more than lost in school, I was free. I could do anything I wanted but knew that I had to figure out the “world” part when I got out of school and I couldn’t waste any time. So speed became me and I hurt myself that way.

No regrets.

I realized that designing networks is all that matters. Networks = people. Connect people and you’ve done social design. And if you really are full of creativity, love and passion like myself, please practice it as an art. Just make art. I don’t know what your art is, but mine is poetry. I feel free when I do it. So, do something that will make you honor yourself. Put your heart out for the world to see. Don’t shove it down people’s throat, don’t say you’re right, don’t make people feel like they’re stupid and please don’t talk about how there is a final answer “somewhere” out there. Make money to save yourself; make art to save the world. You have one life and people care about who you are if you care enough for yourself to craft something beautiful and share it.  Art is something you do for free, for yourself, for exploration, for discovery. Art is the universe in your voice. 

Who knows?

Maybe you’ll make lots of money with your art one day!

Filed under: creativity, design, education, experience, life, love

Fall by Will

pushing for possession of name,
is a deadly sin sucking souls
like vacuuming stains of memory,
and pangs of lust
dusting the heart of a warrior

insecurity,
a defender of sadness
accuses success
to be the enemy of joy

mountains of laugh
pile in my chest with
instructions to stay under pity
so i can fall by will

by lesson
i dive in a prudent mystery
fearing 
the rush, whispers
knockings and poundings
on my bedroom door
determined 
to interrogate my dreams

and when will turns the knob
history ends
i run back to sleep

rhythm of temptation
sweetness of 
soul-sucking
heart-pounding
fist-clenching fantasy
magnets the metal door

i hear the silence of sleep
a dead universe
denying to be lived in

so i collect the beads
of rush, whispers
knocks and pounds,
thread a necklace
and walk naked

all for pride of history
to go to sleep 
knowing my body 
is nothing but a bead 
around the neck of time

Filed under: love, poetry

the mark of unity

everything will

come together

with chance

and choice

 

balanced

and designed

with integrity 

and hope

 

yes

we can

Filed under: art, community, creativity, design, education, experience, future, life, love, philosophy, poetry, politics, social community networks, sustainability, work

revolution finished

 

GOD and HUMAN

MOTHER and NATURE

CHICKEN and EGG

MAN and ROOSTER

INVENTOR and INNOVATION

can’t go backwards

LIFE is always forward

and equal.

 

be born

re-birth

revolution

sex

acceptance

Filed under: activism, art, city, community, creativity, cycling, design, education, experience, future, humanity, iran, life, love, music, nature, philosophy, poetry, politics, school, student life, sustainability, work

waste vs live

i don’t waste my life trying to prove i am right.
i live my life doing what feels right.

Filed under: activism, design, education, life, love, philosophy, work , philosophy